Epic Adventures of the Tentai Body Swapping
by Fox-Tears
Summary: Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei and Kurama are all out on a great adventure! Body swapping fun included! Includes Parody of HxK in a later chap.
1. Into the maze of a thousand deaths!

Hey! Its Fox-Tears here with the first chapter of a nice lil' YYH fic for your enjoyment.

I OWN Yu Yu Hakusho, ok not really, I DON'T own Yu Yu Hakusho TTTT

--

"Come on Kuwabara, it's—just—a—dead—cat! Get over it already, we have more important things to care about!" Yusuke shouted, throwing his arms up into the air in anger. "You have been mourning over that ball of rotting fur for like... an hour already!"

"Two minutes and twenty-eight seconds, Yusuke, give him time to grieve"

"Whatever, Kurama, same difference! Have you been counting the seconds on your wrist watch or something?!"

"No Yusuke, you see by simply monitoring the discreet patterns of the solar..."

"Oh sweet mother of mercy, here we go again..."

"WHHHHHHHY??? SHE..." Kuwabara paused and gently raised the deceased feline's paw to get a view beneath it's body. "Oh, I mean... _HE _WAS SO YOUNG!" Kuwabara was shedding tears like Niagra Falls and the team were getting nowhere fast.

"Im leaving..."

"Wait! Hiei! You need to help us find the umm, artefact... thing... uuuh... anyway! Where do you think you're going?! In this time of crisis, only we brave warriors can save the radiant princess of the Skye!"

"Yusuke... first of all, the artefact in which we are in search of, or, what we _should_ be seeking, is called the 'Orb of Kirikae'" Kurama stated, leaning against an oak tree, "Furthermore, If you have played the popular RPG game 'Kyou Skye,' and observed and translated the dialogue in a correct manner, you would realise that it is not 'brave warriors,' it is 'valiant soldiers.' On the other hand, it has been debated..."

--4 minutes later—

"...Which is why neither statements in this particular theory can be proven correct— Yusuke? What's wrong?"

Yusuke was staring distantly in a daze into Kurama's eyes with some kind of weird, retarded expression and a line of dribble streaming from his lips.

"The complexity of your speech has damaged almost all his brain cells, fox."

"I can see that Hiei—Hiei! You are still here? I thought you taken off already."

"Hn. Oaf, detective, Kurama, let us continue are journey."

Yusuke was still fixed on the void that was his brain. Kuwabara was wiping his tears and sniffing.

"Kurama, Yusuke needs help if we are ever to continue."

"I'm on it."

When you need to snap your friend out of a brain dead state once every 12 hours, it becomes somewhat of a routine.

--The Tentai are back on their feet, and ready for action. Their mission: Locate and examine the Orb of Kirikae and save the Skyan princess! No... scratch that, just find the orb.—

"Where did Koenma say this vase was again?"

"Orb, Yusuke"

"Right, right, Orb. So where is it?"

"Well according to this map he gave us, it should be past this..."

The Tentai all looked upwards in unison at the crow 'caws', and were confronted with a three metre high hedge complete with spiky thorns and a dreary dark atmosphere.

"...maze of a thousand deaths"

"I don't like the sound of this place Urameshi! Can we just go, visit my aunt's kitten, grab a doughnut?"

"Don't be such a wimp, Kuwabara, it doesn't look too bad. In fact, this kiddie pool looks like a piece of cake! _Chocolate _cake! It will be simple... in, through and out. Are we mice? Or are we the Reikai Tentai!?"

Yusuke proceeded in huge manly strides, In the _opposite_ direction of the entrance, mind you.

"Wrong way, Yusuke" Kurama sighed.

"Ha-hah! I was just testin' yah! Let's go!"

Yusuke about-turned on his heel and the four of them entered into the dark abyss of what would begin their epic adventure...

--

"Aaaaaaarrrrh!"

"Damn it Kuwabara, you big baby! Stop screaming! It's a leaf. A LEAF! ...Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrh!"

"Ha Urameshi, who's the big baby now?"

"Whatever you do, Kuwabara, do NOT move." Kurama cautioned.

"What?"

"Be motionless, you idiotic buffoon!"

"Grr, I know what It means shrimp!"

"There is... a, a –"

"What is it?! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF! COME ON, HURRY!"

Yusuke flicked his head side to side, spotted and grabbed a loose tree branch, and belted it firmly against Kuwabara's forehead.

"Ouch! What in the world was that for Urameshi?"

"Well, I think I managed to get the gigantic spider on your head. Oops... I think I missed it!"

Yusuke swung the branch round and wacked Kuwabara on the skull again and again, until he felt he had smashed the bug, and his thick skull sufficiently.

'I'm surrounded by morons' Hiei thought irritably.

--

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"No, Kuwabara"

"Are we there yet?"

"**No, Kuwabara**"

"Geez, when I we gonna be there?"

"In all honesty, I don't know Kuwabara. Are you reading the map?"

"No... Urameshi has the map"

"Hey, don't look at me, Hiei said he wanted to lead"

"Hiei?"

"I gave it back to you Kurama"

"I recall... but I thought you asked to 'check it out' Kuwabara. For the second time?"

"Uuuh. I dunno, maybe I dropped it? Heh"

'What, The idiot lost the map? Our only guide to the way out of here? WHAT? No... no, it can't be happening. Trapped in the maze of a thousand deaths with two idiots and a clever fox? What will become of me? I know... That stupid oaf will chip slowly and painfully away at my precious sanity. The detective will discover my weakening and will mock my mental abilities. Kurama will pity me and I will be left wandering around in the deep depths of my mind, clawing at a precious meaning for life! Why?! Oh no. What if I die? The oaf will engage and then marry with my sister, without me here to prevent that from happening. Then every last of the Tantei will die of starvation or something unfortunate like that, I will be forced to spend an eternity with a thick headed buffoon, a mentally challenged detective and a clever fox that corrects my every GRAMATICAL ERROR??

"Nooooooooooo!!" Hiei screamed out loud and then fainted.

"Hey, I found it, it was right here in my old pocket! Heh heh... Hey, Shrimp boy, you okay?

"He was just having a bad daydream of an eternity spent with you, Kuwabara."

--

AN: Yep. It DOES make no sense. You're catching on! There may even be a PLOT in the next chapter! Yay?

TBC

Next chapter preview:

"Huh? Spiky hair? Black hair, and a strange yet unusually comfortable black coat!? Wait... A sword! If I don't know any better, I'd say I was a splitting image of Hiei!"

You can guess the rest )


	2. BodySwapped!

Welcome back for a second chap'!

--

"Hold it guys... am I missing something?!"

"Yes, a brain."

"No, shrimp. I mean are we going past those same rocks again? I could swear we passed 'em five minutes ago"

"In case you haven't noticed, Kuwabara, this is a maze filled with all kind of plants and rocks. I didn't think there would be too much worry about walking past another set of stones."

"No! No! I mean they are the same ones, we must have been here before!"

"Kuwabara, you can't tell the difference between a toothbrush and a road-sweeper, so just shut it, okay?"

After another ten or so minutes walking in and out of the passageways, the Tentai could see... a light!

"Light! We found the exit! Yahoo! That was a lot faster than I would have expected! Let's go guys! We have to find the..." Kuwabara finally realised where he was, "...we're back at the start?!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"

"Calm down Kuwabara! We just have to read the map more carefully and-"

"Calm down, Kurama? You were the one who didn't believe me when we I figured we were walking in circles! Now look were we are!"

"And you were the one who almost gave me a heart attack with your foolish antics!" Hiei remarked

"You were the one who threatened to go ahead without us, Hiei!"

"Maybe I should have. In fact, maybe I will! Bye." Hiei was gone in a blur of black, back into the maze entrance.

"Hiei, wait! Now look what you have done Yusuke, we were meant to stick together!"

"Well, sorry fox-buddy, but I'm taking my own road from now on. I'll see you on the other side!" Yusuke too was speeding off into oblivion.

"Wait up Urameshi! I mean... don't wait up! I'm going solo." Kuwabara followed suite.

'Well, I guess we are all going solo until we have found the way out.'

Kurama stepped into the maze and continued along the eastern path.

-With Hiei-

'I don't need their idiotic company. I can put up with the fox – but the other two are starting to aggravate the hell out of me'

Pat. Pat. Pat. Scratch. Pat pattapattapatta. Scratch.

'what the-'

Hiei whizzed around, unsheathed his sword just a little. And was confronted with the hideous stature of... nothing.'

'Hn. Must have been the wind'

Pat.

Pat.

Pat.

"Unless you have a death wish, I suggest whoever is pursuing me in silence to show himself now! "

Hiei would live to regret saying that.

"Meeeooooow!!"

A small enthusiastic little kitten pounced and landed smack bang on Hiei's face.

"Arrrg! What the hell? Get off of me you pathetic creature. Stop clawing at my face!"

"Meeeow? Meeeeeeoooow!!!!!"

-With Yusuke-

'I'm creeped out, didn't I pass that leaf only tree minutes ago!? Nyaaah, I'm just paranoid'

Yusuke stopped at a three way intersection and his brain almost went into meltdown.

'Grr. Why did Kurama have to get the map? He doesn't need no map!

Okay, what was that poem I learned in music class? Oh yeah! 'lefty loosey righty tighty'

So I should go... Right! 'Cos right is tiiight! He he.'

Yusuke grinned and cockily continued down the road on the right.

"Meow"

"Wha...?"

-With Kuwabara-

"Damn that shrimp! Callin' me names and stuff, who does he think he is?"

Kuwabara had been focusing so hard on his own thoughts, he forgot to look were he was going. So he didn't try and take clever guesses at the right direction. That's probably how he made it right the way through the maze and out the exit!

"The exit! Yeah! Who's the man? Who's the man?"

"Kuwabara, you made it!?"

"Yeah I did Kurama-! Hey wait... what's that surprised attitude for?

Did the others make it yet?"

"Not yet, but look what I found!"

Kurama presented blackish coloured orb, about the size of a golf ball, in a glass carry case.

"A big marble? Cool."

"No Kuwabara. This is the object we have been assigned to locate! The orb of Kirikae!

"Cool! So... now what?"

"Well, we should really wait for Hiei and Yusuke... but how about we carry out some studies on it right now?"

Kurama was getting a little too excited for science.

"Sure Kurama... knock your self out. I'll be right, uh, over here."

Kuwabara seated himself with his legs sprawled out next to a boulder, hands behind his head.

"Tell me when you get your hippopothis!"

"Hypothesis..." Kurama sighed and shrugged, and pried the orb from its case. As soon as it came into contact with his fingers, it began to glow with a black aura, and started to seemingly grow.

"Kurama, what are you doing?"

"I don't know! It just started... emitting this strange energy!"

Kuwabara sprinted over and touched the orb with his finger. (AN: geez Kuwabara...)

And that's how it all started.

--

Everyone; Hiei, Kuwabara, Yusuke and Kurama were all blown back in a explosion of black and white. Each one of them laid unconscious, two of those Tentai in the Maze, Two outside the exit.

Kuwabara was the first to come round.

"Urrgh. My head." Kuwabara lifted his arm to his brow "Wha? I don't remember breaking my arm? What's with the bandages?"

Kuwabara couldn't shake the feeling he was... lighter. He walked over to a stream about ten metres from the maze exit, took one look at his reflection and screamed.

"Huh? Spiky hair? Black hair, and a strange yet unusually comfortable black coat!? Wait... A sword! If I don't know any better, I'd say I was a splitting image of Hiei!"

"Hiei, when did you get out?"

"Kurama?" Kuwabara whizzed round, to face Yusuke instead.

"Oh, it's you Yusuke. I just heard Kurama, where is he?

"What? Did that energy explosion damage your brain? It's me - Kurama! Standing right in front of you! Hold on, just now you sounded exactly like Kuwabara! Not mocking you or anything..."

Even Kuwabara could peg there was something strange happening.

"Uuh, just come and look in the water"

"Huh, did you spot nice fish or something?" Kurama took one look in the water at his reflection and gasped. "What? I'm... I'm Yusuke?!"

"We body swapped! It must have been the Orb of Kirikae's fault! Where is it?"

"It's right here." Kurama fished in his pocket and produced the Orb, back in its case.

Kuwabara was trying to adjust to the feeling of being so _tiny_.

Kurama was trying to adjust to the feeling of having such _short_ hair.

"What do we do now Yu- I mean Kurama? We have to find Yusuke and Hiei!"

"Come on," Kurama said, "I have a feeling we can find them before they find us."

-With Hiei and Yusuke (In the same place. Why? Because they just are now, okay?)-

"Oww... that hurt!"

Yusuke's eyes quickly spotted somthing blood red pouring over his shoulders.

"Im bleeding? Must have been that weird explosion... hold on a second."

Yusuke fingered the 'blood' to find it was hairy. In fact it _was _hair.

"WHAT? Red hair? I don't remember having red hair!"

Yusuke just noticed an itch in his head and started scratching at it stiffly. He was bewildered at the array of little seeds that fell out.

"And I thought it was just a bad case of dandruff."

Looks like Yusuke had been turned into Kurama!

Hiei had just started to wake, cracking one eyelid, then jumping to his feet and instinctively reaching for his sword – to find it wasn't there. Was it him or was he much taller now? Had he had a growth spurt in his sleep?

"Kuwabara, there you are!"

Hiei turned to face Kurama.

"Kurama? What's with your voice... you sound like the detective"

"Heh? Kuwabara, hate to break it to you but you sound like Hiei.

HAHAHA! Your voice on Kuwabara's body is hilarious!"

"Do you mind explaining, Kurama?" Hiei was getting agitated now.

"Listen Hiei, it's me – Yusuke! I just umm, have Kurama's body."

"Hn. Okay. That makes sense. I'll be leaving now."

Hiei expected to flit across the maze clearing but was sprinting at best.

'What the hell? My speed-"

"You don't think I'm weirded out, Hiei? Come on, we just gotta find Kuwabara and Kurama and sort this mess out."

Hiei was silently dying of shame of the body _he_ was stuck in.

And wondering what the heck was up with that cat that was almost certainly trying to disfigure his face.


End file.
